We'll do it Live!
by They call me Bruce
Summary: Kasumi is a big name star on the Food Network. She's riding high but on the biggest day of her career she crashes and burns when emotional and technical problems mess her up. In other words Kasumi blows up and loses her temper.


This is going to be a shortfic comedy. If your a Kasumi lover, DON'T HAVE A COW MAN!

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"Alright, everybody. I'm off to work." It was 5:00 pm in the evening.

"Must you leave so soon, Kasumi?" The Tendo Patriarch was practically crying a river. He was on the ground holding Kasumi legs tightly. He would not let her go.

"Now, Father. We've discussed this already. We need the money I bring in and I've already signed the contract so there's nothing else we can do about it. Don't worry. Akane can cook dinner. All she needs to do is reheat what I've already cooked. Its very important I get there early today. My cooking show is going to be a little longer than usual."

"Akane can't cook! She can't even reheat anything without making it poison." Ranma walked into the room near the front door with a look of concern on his face.

"You idiot!" Akane came into the room and slammed Ranma into the ground with her trusty mallet.

Ranma moaned in pain. "You know you can't cook Akane. It's not your thing."

"I can too cook. I'm really good. Reheating the food Kasumi has already made will be a piece of cake."

"A piece of cake made by you can kill." Akane beat down Ranma with her mallet again. Ranma had to pull himself from the ground but he was alright.

"Can't you see? Akane will kill us all with her cooking! We're all going to die! Waaah!"

"Ranma."

"Yes, Kasumi?"

"How about it if you reheat the dinner? I would appreciate it."

"I can do it!" Akane screamed.

"No you can't, Akane, but Kasumi has to go. She makes a lot of money for us. We're finally in the black after all the damage thats been done to this house. Kasumi is a high priced television star." Nabiki entered the room. She stood in her usual way against the wall.

"That's true. I do have to go."

"Get over it, everybody. It took a lot of string pulling for me to get Kasumi that job at the Food Network. It's paying off for us but It will be no good if she's late."

Nabiki forced her father to let her sister go so Kasumi could enter the limosine that waited for her.

"Hello, Tendosan." The driver was a huge fella who used to be a sumo wrestler. After crashing and burning in his career as a sumo he got a job as a driver for television stars for the Food Network in Japan. Ryori Tendo(the name of the show) was one of the most popular shows on the network. Rachel Rays show rated higher but Ryori Tendo gained on it's rival a little more each day.

"Hello, Hamasan. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Will we be able to get there in time?"

"We can make it. You'll be passing up that foreigner, Rachel Ray in your ratings in no time, Tendosan. I'm certain of this."

"Thank you, Hamasan. I know I'm a better cook than her and it will be wonderful when my show becomes the number one on the Food Network world wide as it is in Japan."

The limo arrived in the parking lot and stopped in it's normal place and let Kasumi out. Kasumi took her cooking things and went inside quickly because the security guard who had video survelliance for the parking lot saw Kasumi get out and had the front door open for her.

"Hello, Tendosan." The security guard smiled at the gracious Food Network star.

"Hello, Seitosan. I'd like to talk to you but I need to get to the set rather quickly.

"I understand."

Kasumi walked a bit quickly to the set and met the producer of the show. She was a middle aged woman who wore glasses and kinda looked like a nerd. She wore a light brown buttoned shirt and a dark brown skirt. Her hair was short. She had a look of anger on her face.

"You're late!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You are late, you stupid bitch!"

"I said I was sorry. Please don't yell at me."

"Tendosan! You have a phone call!" The gopher for the show brought her a cell phone and waited for the call to finish.

"Kasumi. I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm leaving you for another woman."

"Why?! You finally stopped acting like an idiot whenever I'm around you. Who's the other woman, Tofu?"

"She's someone my mother wants me to marry. She has a great set of hips and a great set of tits as well. I was never truly in love with you. I just went crazy around you. Your a nice girl but it's over. Goodbye."

"Tofu! No!" The gopher took the cell phone back when Tofu hanged up.

"I don't believe that fella! Did he have to dump me right before the biggest show of my life? I have a chance to pass up Rachel Ray in the ratings. And he does me like this?!"

"It's about time you got in the real world, you ditz. Men are pigs! Now get your ass in gear or your out of here! Get to work!"

Kasumi got to work. That day she made Bok Choy, fried rice and chow mein along with other tasty Japanese and Chinese dishes. During this time she forgot about her problems. She put on her usual smile with her eyes half closed. She did a great show for the most part.

"It's about time youve earned your pay! Don't blow it. bitch!" the producer said.

When a break happened Kasumi ordered her usual drink of tea. The gopher who usually brought Kasumi her tea had been secretly drinking a silver flask of sake. When someone came up upon him and surprised him he panicked and turned his back to the passerby and poured some of the sake into Kasumi's tea. When it over flowed he drank some it to level it out.

"Hey what are you doing! Get back to work!"

"Yes. Yes." The gopher had been drinking very strong sake that was of a high concentration. Never the less he brought the spiked tea to Kasumi.

"Oh, thanks, Jukio. I'll be refreshed after drinking my usual tea." Kasumi was so thirsty and upset over what had happened during her day she drank the powerfully spiked tea and downed it in less than a second.

"That was nice." The gopher walked away reliefed. He didn't notice how Kasumi kept on blinking her eyes and shaking her head incoherently.

The longer than usual show was almost over. The latter part of the evening had been difficult for the Food Network star but she persevered despite being a little drunk. It was time for Kasumi to sign off. "We're going to have Iron Chef Morimoto as a guest for the show. That's tomorow. That is it for us today. I, I don't know what. That."

The producer stood by the camera and the teleprompter, held a cup of coffee in her hand and got impatient. "Just read it, Kasumi."

"Whatever it is it's not right on the teleprompter. I don't know what that is. I've never seen that." Kasumi strained her eyes to read the what was written. She couldn't make any sense of it.

The producer answered her. "I know you haven't seen it because you're a ditzy bitch who still lives at home. Just read the stupid thing."

"I can't read it. There's no words there!"

"Of course the words are here. Are you blind as well as stupid? How could someone have as much cooking experience as you have and be such an idiot? Is there anything inside that empty head of yours?"

Kasumi began to get upset and the sake was also affecting her. "There's no words there! To play us out what does that mean?"

"You remind me of that foreigner, Gomer Pyle. He was such an idiot!"

"I don't know what that means!"

"It means your so dumb your altogether inhuman. Your like a panda but less clever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh I hate you, you stupid bitch. Can we finish this already?!"

Kasumi motioned with her hands a command. "Go! Go! Go!"

"Don't you wave your hands at me!"

Kasumi glared at the producer. She turned to the camera and tried to put on her usual smile. "That's tomorrow and that's." Kasumi gave a horrible grimace and took a deep breath. She was still having a hard time.

"I've had it! Screw this up again and your fired!" the producer screamed.

"That's tomorrow. That's it for us today and we will leave you with a. I can't do it. I can't do it."

"I knew you were dense but your taking the cake today!"

"We'll do it live!"

"You can't even get right after five takes. Why would I take the chance of you doing it live?"

"We'll do it live! Fuck it!"

"Fuck you! We're not gonna do it live!"

"WE'LL DO IT LIVE! I'll rewrite it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks!"

"You suck! How are you going to write it when you can't even read it, you stupid bimbo?! Last chance in five foure three two one!" Gives her the finger on one.

Kasumi takes a deep breath. She gives her usual sweet smile with her eyes almost closed. "That's tomorrow and that is it for us today. I'm Kasumi Tendo. We'll leave you with Coco and a cut off her new album. Take it away." When the taping finishes, Kasumi angrily gets up from her seat and violently takes off her apron and throws it on the table in front of her. She moves towards the producer. Now she's in a rage.

"You want a piece of me?! Let's do this! Let's do this!"

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Hey you chuckleheads. If you give me a review. DO IT LIVE! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!


End file.
